I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
