The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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