Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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