Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize