i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize