I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
