ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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