haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
