So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
