Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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