How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
