I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
do nipples grow back?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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