Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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