If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
