I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
