Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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