you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
