I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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