OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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