no. you can't hotbox the world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
