I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
