careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
