I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
