im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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