Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
