My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You left your phone here
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