if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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