I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
