so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We need a shit load of segways right now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
