everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
soo... how was my night?
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