My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
