the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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