I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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