Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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