So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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