remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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