Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
