he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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