I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
