Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
