i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
