so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
