Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
