the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
