census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
