then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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