Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
