I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
