Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
