at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
