Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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