would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how drunk are you?
Several
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
