new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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