No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
