I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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