Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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