whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
