AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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