is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
