If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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