Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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