I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
