This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
