Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
